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Jokes...post them here.
death:
billyfridge:
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up".
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live".
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you".
texasboy:
;D ;D Nice one Billy.
cheers
billyfridge:
Tex, and his wife were driving to London UK,
He gets pulled over by the Police,
The woman police officer says, "Sir, did you know you were speeding?"
Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"
His wife yells, "SHE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The police woman says, "May I see your license?"
Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"
Mrs Tex yells, "SHE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."
Tex gives her his license.
The police woman says, "I see you are from Ireland. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a man I have ever had."
Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"
"SHE THINKS SHE KNOWS YOU," the wife yells.
[LOL!]
death:
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