Forums > Offbeat Relish
Jokes...post them here.
dtl:
[LOL!] [yes]
fuzzytomcat:
;D
olddays1:
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a
case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?"
asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife and so they carry on
shopping. A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face
cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price..."
On the PA system: "Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down."
peacefulguy:
Stumpy Legged Pink Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, "Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it." 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.
Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.
Another trip to the yard and when it's all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, "Say what breed is that anyway?"
The owner says, "Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator."
peacefulguy:
A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town. Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window. Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar. The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it. "Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
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