Forums > Offbeat Relish
Jokes...post them here.
olddays1:
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly - he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.
billyfridge:
LOL...heard that before but it always makes mt laugh...
MinLo:
Funny as usual guys, idk where the hell you guys get this jokes but very entertaining ;D ;D ;D
This one needs a little revision Billy....
"Minlo and his wife were shopping in the mall, somehow they got separated.
Minlo searched, but couldn't find his wife, so he stopped a big busted blonde and said ''will you talk to me for a minute?''
the blonde asked ''why'' Minlo said ''I lost my wife in here and if I stand talking to a beautiful woman my wife usually appears in seconds to beat the living crap outta of me but atleast I won't have to spend a hour searching around for her''
billyfridge:
A married man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for £500 . They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for £250 and enclose the following typed note:
'Dear Madam: Enclosed find a check for £250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: #1 - it had never been occupied; #2 - there was plenty of heat; and #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: #1 - it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large.' Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for £250 with the following note:
'Dear Sir: #1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. #2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. #3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady...
:D
peacefulguy:
Two old men are sitting in a retirement home chatting, "I'm full of aches and pains today Alf, how do you feel?" Alf replies, "Like a newborn baby Fred." "Really" says Fred, "a newborn baby?" "Yep, no hair, no teeth, and I've just shit myself."
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