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Jokes...post them here.

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gr1ngo:
How to fix a slice


Tom’s tee shot off the first tee hooks horribly and skips off the clubhouse roof. He decides it’s not worth chasing so he tees up another ball and plays on. As he’s making the turn at nine, his friend comes running out of the clubhouse, "Tom, wait up!" "Yeah, what is it?" "Did you see what happened to your ball from the first tee?" "Well, I hooked the ball off the clubhouse roof but I didn’t see what happened to it." "Let me tell you, it richocheted off a van’s window which went out of control and hit a school bus. The bus tumbled down an embankment and burst into flames! Three kids are in critical condition at the hospital!" "Oh my God! What should I do?" " "Well, I think if you just open your club face a little bit . . ."

MinLo:
 :D :D :D

cissie:
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um......equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
can get to work."
"Tripod?????"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's
fainted!!"

gr1ngo:
Heard this on the radio today.
At a high powered business lunch, a top executive met this gorgeous teenager and had a fling with her.
4 weeks late she contacts him to tell him she is pregnant...he does not want this to come out as he is married and would probably lose his job as well...so he tell her to go away have the baby and contact him and he will look after their every need...just send him a postcard with the word spaghetti on it..he will know what it means.
8 months later he come home from work and his wife says there is a postcard for you
He looks at the postcard and faints,after he recovers he looks at the postcard again and it read...
spaghetti ,spaghetti ,spaghetti two with meatballs and one without.

cissie:
That was funny... hehehehe

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