Forums > Offbeat Relish
Jokes...post them here.
texasboy:
;D Since I`m in the mood.
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No .. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
cheers
billyfridge:
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET
coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
::)
texasboy:
;D Billy, we have disabled spots at the ice rink for the disabled parents and grandparents ;)
THE WHITE GUY WITH ONE TESTICLE
There once was an White man who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.
He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?????...........................
OH, Come on............take a guess!
Think about it............
(You're going to love this!)
And the moral is..........
You can't kill two birds with one stone!!
__________________
cheers
billyfridge:
He he he...........don't give yer day job up Tex ::)
texasboy:
--- Quote from: billyfridge on December 08, 2007, 11:53:45 am ---He he he...........don't give yer day job up Tex ::)
--- End quote ---
lol. Wont be too long now Billy. Then I can concentrate on this thread. >:D
cheers
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