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Jokes...post them here.
texasboy:
;D
RAF 1 - Police 0
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Subject: RAF 1 Police 0
Top this for a speeding ticket
Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an
unusual incident, while checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great
North Road .
One of the officers (who are not named) used a hand-held radar device to
check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was
surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph. The machine then
stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.
The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the
North Sea , which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border
district.
Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint
to the R A F Liaison office.
Back came the reply in true laconic R A F style. "Thank you for your
message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be
interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had
automatically locked on to your 'hostile radar equipment' and sent a
jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, the Sidewinder
Air-to-ground missiles aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also locked on
to the target. Fortunately the Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to
the missile status alert intelligently and was able to override the
automatic protection system before the missile was launched
cheers
chip!:
lol.... whether thats true or not, its pretty funny...
keep them coming, i love the jokes! O0
olddays1:
A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm.
The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning.
The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die.
At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me at least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like woman?"
She sees a hand raise in the back, and a muscular man starts to walk up to her seat. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt.
She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?"
Eagerly, she shakes her head, Yes!
As the man hands her his shirt, he says, "Here. Iron this."
texasboy:
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called 'Beer.' The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship.' In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage.' Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by; the predatory females. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this 'Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book. For a video to see how beer works click here:
BeerDemo http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf
enjoy.
cheers
olddays1:
That link is a killer!
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