Forums > Offbeat Relish
Jokes...post them here.
texasboy:
;D ;D.
Now if that wasn't good enough for you. I offer the following. >:D
Buy a new husband in
London
....
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in London , where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular
floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find
a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have
Jobs. She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. "That's nice", she thinks,
"but I want more." So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and
are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to
keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand
it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay,
but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New
Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that
love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
cheers
jinjorob:
three men went in the wood one day for a walk they came across a hut in the middle of the wood. 1st man went in the hut and noticed £5 on the table all of a sudden a voice shouts this is the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table, he got scared so he run out to tell the others 2nd man laffs and then enters the hut again the voice went im the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table, he also got scared so he run out, the 3rd man entered the hut and heard the voice say im the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table but instead of running out he repied i the ghost of davy crocket that £5 goes in my pocket lol
hope u like
billyfridge:
--- Quote from: jinjorob on January 11, 2008, 11:46:25 pm ---three men went in the wood one day for a walk they came across a hut in the middle of the wood. 1st man went in the hut and noticed £5 on the table all of a sudden a voice shouts this is the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table, he got scared so he run out to tell the others 2nd man laffs and then enters the hut again the voice went im the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table, he also got scared so he run out, the 3rd man entered the hut and heard the voice say im the ghost of auntie mable that £5 stays on the table but instead of running out he repied i the ghost of davy crocket that £5 goes in my pocket lol
hope u like
--- End quote ---
he he he ...nice one jinjorob :D
texasboy:
Billy is already at this stage >:D
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixtyYears."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you...
Enjoy
cheers
billyfridge:
OMG....that is so true, isn't it Texasboy?
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