Your most embarrassing or funniest moment

[cissie]

I am sure we all have one of these.  I know i have plenty, so thought we could perhaps get a real belly laugh going at how extreme some of our funniest or most embarrassing moments have been.

Okay.. i will start.. one of many but this will pass.. others may not.  Went out to a reunion in Melbourne.. group of us.. decided to go to a nightclub.. queueing for quite a long time.. and had already had more than enough to drink.. needed a nature call, and because i am not a male, have to choose my position very carefully.. we all decided that it was too long to wait to get into the nightclub, and would go elsewhere. 

Starting to walk away, i told my husband at the time... i really need to go.. there really wasn't anywhere.. i had high heels on and quite a short dress.. but in desperation i climbed a fence to a car park (yes, the country kid came out in me) anyway.. a girl will do what she has to when she has to.. so i got over.. and started to do what i went there for, then all of a sudden.. half way through.. a snarling dog with teeth, and drooling was at my butt (ever seen the movie "KUJO" OMG ... i was so scared to turn around.. then a security guard turned up.. OMG.. how embarrassing.. i hadn't even finished and the torch was shining on me.. it was a security car park, and i had tresspassed... he called the dog off, before i lost a piece of my anatomy.. hehe... i have since, just gone where ever if pressed as badly as that.. never climbed a fence for that reason ever since.

[kyopedlr]

Last semester I lived in the dorms of my University (this year I live at home and commute).

My story begins as any other college begin. A beautiful day, a beautiful girl, and a beautiful body. It wasn't anything personal, I had meet her a few days ago by a friend of a friend. We both exchanged hours of small talk, you know, *that* sorta thing. My room mate had left that week attending some urgent family business, saying that he wouldn't be back for a few days. (He came back on Monday of next week, I meet the girl on Wednesday before) So I admit, my hormones got the best of me on that Friday night. I was young/old/goth, (still am for that matter) horny, and bored. So naturally, I called over *her* over for some late night fun. She arrived around 6:00 (it was during the fall, so it gets to be nighttime quicker), she came over with a nice black dress on. God how I just wanted to ravage her right then and there. I quickly sign languaged my intentions to her, "you", "me" "bed", "now". She nodded her head slightly, I took that as a "GO" and charged. I lunged toward her small frame, picked her up, threw her onto bed and prepared to rip off her garmets while stradling her waist. Piece by piece articles of cothing (both her's and mine) are flung all around the room. Gazing into her eyes,we both locked each other in a embarce, half naked and sharing each other's warmth when SUDDENLY!!! "Oh shit! Kyo's f#$ken some white chick!". #$%&, what was I to do? I screamed, "Close the door, get the #$%& out!" They screamed back out at me, "We thought you were watching porn, we were trying to catch you in the act, but..." Half naked I jumped out of bed enraged and slammed the door. Apperently, in my hastyness to get in her pants, I forgot to lock the door.

Lucky, the night was salvaged, as I was to horny to care and well... she was already there half naked... we went half way... might as well finish right? Well atleast we know the room was secure...

-kyopedlr

[texasboy]

  This moment will perhaps require censorship for youger members. Though I doubt it.
This moment has stuck in my school trousers for all these years.
Back in 1955 (yes 1955) my mum and dad were having big problems. I spent many sleepless nights listening to the arguments. I had a problem with constipation, and would sometimes take 5-6 days before going to toilet for #2`s,
One day (late as usual)for school, running and jumping on the bus platform I felt something give way. Yes a 5 day old hard poop had suddenly decided to make an exit. Not yet ready to take my seat on the bus, I quietly eased this extra hard item down the inside of my school trousers unto the platform When no one was looking I slyly kicked the offending object off the platform unto the street.
Not a nice subject , but one that comes with stress in family life.
cheers
PS. what a load off my mind

[cissie]

  hehehehe.... eeewwww.... haha.. took guts to write that one.. well at least you have it off your chest.. 

[texasboy]

hehehehe.... eeewwww.... haha.. took guts to write that one.. well at least you have it off your chest.. 

Thats the first time I have mentioned this one.
 Now I feel relieved.
cheers

[cissie]

Here is one of my most embarrassing moments... I was pregnant at the time.. and liked to keep myself in order with the waxing etc.. as the belly was getting bigger.. i found it hard to get that area done.. so hubby offered to do it for me.  He spent quite some time fixing it up to be all neat as a pin, i just don't know why they need to take more time than we do but anyway....

A couple of days later i had a doctors appointment.. the usual check up.  Off i went to the doctors, he was a real cutey, and also a customer at the business my mother and I ran.  The doctor told me this day that he wanted to do an internal check up to see how things were going, so off with the knickers, and up onto the table.. spreaded the legs, then all of a sudden.. he smiles, and has a little chuckle.. i asked him what was wrong and he just laughed and said.. "nothings wrong.. actually its quite a nice change".... puzzled and bewildered i just looked at the ceiling while he was fishing about.... he smiled the whole time, and i could see he was trying not to laugh. 

After the examination i got down from the table.. fixed myself up and went out into his office to get the results.. he said all was more than fine, and he actually thought that things were very good.. still smiling, he thanked me for a pleasant experience.  I was so confused, but left his office then got my next appointment and went home.  That night while getting ready for bed, i removed all my clothes, and happened to turn around and see myself in the mirror.... OMG.. Hubby had done a wonderful job in the waxing area... He made the most perfect shaped heart.. just the thing a pregnant woman needs on going for her regular check up to the doctor..hehehe... well... it was cute.. and a nice sentiment.. but also makes one aware, of the things the guys get up to when they know they have full reign of doing the job.  The next visit to the doctor, i could barely look him in the face.. he always had a smile on his face after that whenever i went there.   

[billyfridge]

l was going home after work in manchester uk, with my buddy, we were standing downstairs on a full double decker bus, l asked him what he was doing later, it was summertime, he said he was playing tennis, and showed me the case he had his tennis raquets in, quite innocently l said where's your balls, he didn't answer, l looked at him, and he was going red from the neck upwards, then l realised what l'd said, there were two girls standing in front of him giggling away