Forums > Offbeat Relish
Jokes...post them here.
texasboy:
;D
Whats white and cant climb trees?
a "Fridge" :-[
cheers
What's the difference between a man and a kangaroo?
A kangaroo joey crawls from the womb to the pouch while a man crawls from the couch to the bedwomb.
again cheers ::)
texasboy:
;D
Some time ago Mr Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice.
The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon.
The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice.
Just before the meal, the Presient noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef.
The meal went OK but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.
It was getting worse and worse till finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees.
As he was just about passout, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, "sack my cook".
cheers ::)
billyfridge:
a little joke for yer....
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal
car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin
to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed
up, they asked him.
St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. "Let
me go find out", and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple is
still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to
get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."
"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't
work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.
"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest
up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a LAWYER?
:D
texasboy:
;D Almost as good as mine Billy ::)
VIAGRA---Not having to say "sorry"
cheers
billyfridge:
--- Quote from: texasboy on May 04, 2007, 05:57:22 am --- ;D Almost as good as mine Billy ::)
VIAGRA---Not having to say "sorry"
cheers
--- End quote ---
err......'sorry'....wot for Tex??????
he he he :D
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