Author Topic: Jokes...post them here.  (Read 153191 times)

MinLo

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #135 on: January 16, 2009, 04:30:05 pm »
Keep them coming guys

Hilarious  :D :D :D

I wish I knew good ones  >:(

jchen

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #136 on: January 17, 2009, 03:03:52 am »
some of them aren't funny because I don't get them  ??? :P

Here's mine:

Pretend that you are in a jungle and a tiger is chasing you.  What should you do??  :o


STOP PRETENDING  ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D

More jokes coming soon.  ;D :D ;) :) O0

jchen

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #137 on: January 17, 2009, 03:06:30 am »
can I put riddles here too?
 ??? :P ^-^

jchen

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #138 on: January 17, 2009, 03:39:01 am »
Tex, and his wife were driving to London UK,

He gets pulled over by the Police,

The woman police officer says, "Sir, did you know you were speeding?"

Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"

His wife  yells, "SHE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

The police woman says, "May I see your license?"

Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"

Mrs Tex yells, "SHE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

Tex gives her his license.

The police woman says, "I see you are from Ireland. I spent some time there once, had the worst sex with a man I have ever had."

Tex turns to his wife and asks, "What did she say?"

"SHE THINKS SHE KNOWS YOU," the wife yells.

 [LOL!]




 ;D ;D ;D
very funny  ;D :D

Offline peacefulguy

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #139 on: January 20, 2009, 05:54:38 pm »
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

jchen

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #140 on: January 21, 2009, 10:09:38 am »
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.


 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :o :o :o :o :o *hahahahahahahahahah*  :o :o :o

Offline peacefulguy

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #141 on: January 23, 2009, 08:49:30 am »
Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Merry Christmas Buddy"

Offline billyfridge

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #142 on: January 23, 2009, 10:01:04 am »
 [LOL!]

Offline peacefulguy

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #143 on: January 27, 2009, 07:45:12 pm »
One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight, when the sun rises tomorrow you will be able to see!" Needless to say, Anthony prays up a storm! Morning came and Anthony is still blind.
He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, "Anthony, what's wrong?"
Anthony wails, "Mommy, I prayed so hard but I'm still blind!" His Mom gently pats him on the head. "I know, honey. April Fools!"

Offline billyfridge

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #144 on: January 27, 2009, 09:13:46 pm »
 :D
Peaceful.........that is well norty...LOL

MinLo

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #145 on: January 28, 2009, 03:05:05 am »
OMG ROFL

That is just wrong!
But very funny

jchen

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #146 on: January 28, 2009, 11:18:57 am »
One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight, when the sun rises tomorrow you will be able to see!" Needless to say, Anthony prays up a storm! Morning came and Anthony is still blind.
He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, "Anthony, what's wrong?"
Anthony wails, "Mommy, I prayed so hard but I'm still blind!" His Mom gently pats him on the head. "I know, honey. April Fools!"

lol.... [cry] still sad  :P this is a sad joke.  ::)

Offline billyfridge

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #147 on: February 01, 2009, 08:45:59 am »

Gibbler discovered that her dog could barely hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.

He found that the problem was hair in its ears, so he shaved both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the Gibbler that if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemists and buy "Nair Hair Remover", and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

Gibbler goes to the store and gets the "Nair Hair Remover".

At the cash register the pharmacist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days.

Gibbler says, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says, "Well, if you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days.

Gibbler says "Well, I'm not using it on my legs, either - if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist said, "Stay off your bicycle".

 [LOL!]



--------------------

Offline billyfridge

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #148 on: February 04, 2009, 10:05:04 am »

Gibbler was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all
the dents would pop out.
So Gibbler went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing
into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew
a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde daughter Jennifer saw her, and asked, 'What are you doing?'
Gibbler told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into
the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Jennifer rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to
roll up the windows first.'

 :D

Offline peacefulguy

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Re: Jokes...post them here.
« Reply #149 on: February 04, 2009, 06:39:10 pm »
Haha to funny, must try that on the wife lol  ;D